Tot School: F is for Fish and Fire trucks!

Jackson is 27 months old. 

For the letter F, we focused on fire trucks and fish!

We read: Rainbow Fish by Marcus Pfister
Fireman Small by Wong Herbert Yee
One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish by Dr. Seuss

 Jackson played with his fire trucks.

Jackson and I played with his fire truck stickers (another re-positionable set. I love these and wish I had bought more when they were on sale!)

Tuesday we went on a field trip to the Fire Station with Jackson's preschool class.

Wednesday we switched gears and started doing our fish activities.  We played with the magnetic fishing game that I made.

We sang the 1,2,3,4,5 Once I caught a fish alive song.

We made this fun fish handprint craft.  When the paint dried, Jackson glued blue paper onto the plate to make it look like water.

I made Jackson this sensory bag using blue aloe and colored goldfish.  I used the goldfish because I couldn't find gummy fish, but as you might suspect, they disintegrated after a few minutes of Jackson squeezing the bag, but he liked it anyway.

And we did this sand art.  I drew fish onto the paper with glue and tried to get Jackson to pour sand over it.  He didn't care for this activity (he hates most sensory things, you may have noticed, but I keep trying to get him used to them) but I managed to get him to get a bunch of sand on it anyway.  I think it looked pretty nice in the end. 

Life Skills
 I just wanted to update some of the things that Jackson is doing as far as life skills. Right now he:

• cleans his own tray after eating
• brushes his teeth
• helps me put clothes in the dryer 
• picks up his dad's clothes off the floor and puts them in the hamper 
• puts away all of his toys before nap and bedtime 

He's also sort of obsessed with hugging his friends, only he doesn't want to let go! They don't usually like this very much!

He has also adjusted really well to preschool.  He still cries when I drop him off, but he does well while he is there.  He seems to be getting along with the other kids and he loves the teacher.  He is also doing well in speech therapy- he has even started going into the session alone (for the last year he has always depended on one of us to go into the room with him).

And now they know what we already knew

Friday Jackson was diagnosed with mild autism.

And I am relieved.

I know that's hard to imagine, but the truth is that I have suspected autism for almost 6 months now.  It just took us awhile to convince our doctors that Jackson's issues were not because of a hearing problem.  Then we had to sit around for 3 months twiddling our thumbs while sitting on a waiting list for a pediatrician who could assess our situation.  

I was scared that I would break down and cry at the appointment.  I was scared that she would take one look at my son and declare him severely autistic or tell me that he will never talk, that he was beyond help.

But she didn't.

She was excited about the amount of eye contact that he gave her, about the way he interacted with me and my husband, and even the way he eventually interacted with her for a little bit.

So now we can move on.  The diagnosis that I have been dreading for months now, seems like nothing. It doesn't change him, he's still the same sweet little boy whose favorite thing right now is to give high 5's and slobbery kisses.

Soon there will be more evaluations and more therapy, and hopefully, some recovery.  Because now the doctors know what we already knew, and we can get my baby some help.

Guilt (definitely an "a-ha" moment for me!)

Last week I talked about how I started going back to church.  One of the reasons that I quit going for so long was because of the guilt that it made me feel whenever I did anything wrong.  Of course NOW I realize that it was God calling me back, trying to get me to do the right thing, but at the time part of me just wanted to let go and be able to do my own thing. 

It was a little more than that too.  I worry a lot, so when I feel guilty about something, it is a feeling that consumes me for hours or days or even longer.  Add to that a feeling of "I'm never going to be good enough anyway" and all I wanted to do was give up. 

I have always been a perfectionist.  That doesn't mean that I think I'm perfect by any means, but I always feel pressure to do everything right.  But God knows that we are not perfect, that's why we need Him!

"Finally, I confessed all my sins to you
      and stopped trying to hide my guilt.
   I said to myself, “I will confess my rebellion to the Lord.”
      And you forgave me! All my guilt is gone." --Psalm 32:5

God wants us to do the right thing, but he doesn't expect us to be able to do the right thing every single time!  If we confess our sins, we have no need to feel guilty! 

Another reason I stayed away was because of all of the hypocrisy I witnessed in the church I grew up in.  Watching people teach about loving others, only to turn around and ignore new people when they came through the church doors or complain because new people sat in "their" pew.  It made me sick.  But I've realized that I have used their sins as an excuse not to do what I should have been doing all along.  If I only wanted to go to church with people who are perfect, then I would never find I church that I liked! I have to remember that I not only have to forgive myself but to forgive others too. 

Now why did it take me so long to figure that out? 

How to make a Magnetic Fishing Game (No sewing required!)

This week we are working on the letter F.  While I was looking around for fish activities I found this super cute homemade fishing game! But I didn't really want to invest the amount of time it would take me to sew those fish.  So I decided to make my own no-sew version with stuff I already had laying around my house.

The Fish 

I traced and cut out a very basic fish outline and glued a small magnet to the back of each one.

You can write letters, numbers, words, etc on the fish if you want, but we're just focusing on colors for now.

The Fishing Pole 

I duct taped a piece of ribbon to a short wooden dowel.  Then super glued two magnets to the other end of the ribbon. And DONE!

It was super easy to make, and cheap since I already had all of these supplies. 

This is what happens when you try to get a bunch of 2 year olds to take a class picture

Dangerous Prayers

Despite being raised in a Southern Baptist church, I've never really considered myself to be very religious.  Honestly, being raised in such a strict environment, listening to sermons of hell and damnation while being surrounded by hypocrites* made me hate the idea of organized religion. Oh, I still believed in God, but for almost 8 years I only went to church when I was visiting my family. I couldn't decide what I believed, and I didn't want any part of church.

During Jason's last deployment, I fell into a deep depression. It was a true depression- not the kind where you are weepy for a few days- but the kind where you just feel so empty and so lonely, it feels like you will never be whole again. And it's a feeling that goes on for weeks or even longer.

This was not the first bout of depression that I have experienced,  though it was the first time that I actually recognized what was wrong with me while I was going through it.  Other times I have been miserable but I haven't realized just how bad things were until I was over it.  My heart was just so heavy that there were times that I don't think I would have gotten out of bed that day if it weren't for Jackson. No matter what, I knew I had to be strong enough to take care of him.

One night things were so bad that I did something that I hadn't really done in years. I prayed.

I said a prayer asking God to help me. I needed Him.  There was a church that I had been thinking about going to, but for various reasons had not gone yet. This was a Saturday night, so I prayed that God would give me strength to get up and go in the morning because I knew that anything could be an excuse for me.  For one thing, I was unable to sleep, so when I did finally fall asleep I usually slept late. For another, I get incredibly anxious about new situations, especially about meeting new people.

And miraculously, Sunday morning, I was ready. I woke up on time. The sun was shining. Jackson was in a wonderful mood.  I was nervous about putting him in the nursery but he did well.  He cried when I left, but eventually calmed down and played with the other kids.  I sat down in my seat and asked God to please let Jackson behave because I needed this. I needed to be here, to hear this sermon, to hear this music.  I needed this peace. 

With the first line of the first song, tears began to fall silently down my cheeks. I haven't felt a rightness like that in a long, long time. The preacher spoke of dangerous prayers- of how asking God to change you can be the best thing that has happened to you but will not be an easy road. He talked about Saul and how in his search for God, he found Jesus, and became Paul.  And he told us to look at our own lives and what is wrong with us.

"Is it a marriage or another relationship going bad? an addiction? emotional problems? financial problems? Well, when are you going to look at it and say "Enough is enough."? When are you going to ask God to change you?"

That day I looked my depression in the face and said enough is enough.  I asked God to change me and I have seen changes in my life and my attitude in these last few months. That day I felt better than I had in weeks, and within days I was lifted completely out of my funk. 

Depression is not something that I want to ever have to go through again, but I know that does not mean that I won't have to.  And yet, I'm glad that I did go through it because it brought me back to God. It makes me wonder how many desperate times I could have avoided if I had listened the first time He tried to call me back.

*In the next post I will talk about how I realized that I was the one who needed an attitude change and how I found a church that "fit" me better than the one I grew up in.

5 Question Friday

1. What is the first nightmare you remember?

When I was little I had a recurring nightmare about a witch under my bed. That's all I remember now but at the time it was terrifying!

2. Even if you're not a sports fan, what's your favorite sport to play/watch?

The only sport I really like to watch is college football. I cheer for two teams...Auburn and whoever is playing against Alabama that day :)

3. If you could pull off one piece of trendy fashion, what would you want it to be (jeggings, hats, thigh high boots, etc.)?

Thigh high boots definitely. I think they are so sexy but I'm not a size 0 so I probably couldn't pull them off. 

Also, I'm not Serena Van Der Woodsen.

4. Did you make good grades in school? Yep. 4.0 in HS, 3.8 in college, 4.0 in grad school :)

5. What magazines do you subscribe to?

Like 3 parenting magazines and Women's Health. Boring, I know. 

WW: We've got crabs :)

My friend April came to visit for the weekend and somehow this is the only picture that we took (despite spending all day Saturday at the beach).  See, my husband hates seafood and I have been dying to go to this local place (but it's not exactly kid friendly either!) so I finally got to go! We got the all-you-can-eat crab legs, totally fresh- the guy who owns the place catches them on his boat each day, and it was delicious! But of course I'm horrible at getting the crab out of it's shell, so this was a picture of April doing it for me :)

Tot School: D is for Dinosaur!

Jackson is 27 months old. 

Jackson is getting yet another new tooth. I am hoping it is his last one for awhile because he has been very cranky all week! He is still sleeping well though (knock on wood!!)

We read the story Mine-o-saur by Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen. Jackson loves to listen to this story over and over again. If you've never heard it, you should definitely check it out. It's about a dinosaur who learns to share and there are lots of rhyming parts.

Our craft this week was making a dinosaur out of the letter D. I found this idea here.

For fine motor skills I tried to do a clothespin stegasaurus but Jackson wasn't too interested.

I also wanted him to dig for dinosaurs, but he didn't really want to do that either! (Like I said, he was super cranky this week!)

He did a couple of cute coloring pages, and the letter D tracing page (lots of dinosaur printables found here).

He played playdough with his dad for a little while.  I had dinosaur cookie cutters for them to use, but Jason seemed to like playing with it more than Jackson did!

And of course he wore his dino pj's!

Universal Studios & City Walk

That night we went out to dinner at Margaritaville!

Then we had drinks at Rising Star- a karaoke bar where you get back up singers & a band! 

(No we didn't sing, if you're wondering! LOL)

WW: The Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Us at the entrance

Hogwarts! It has Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey ride inside and it is AWESOME! I loved that while you were standing in line (which we didn't really do because we had express passes) you basically got to explore the castle. So cool if you are a hardcore HP nerd like I am!

Hagrid's hut (while waiting in line for Flight of the Hippogriff)

Drinking butterbeer at The Three Broomsticks (It tasted like super sweet cream soda).