I don't usually compare Jackson to other babies (or at least I try not to). I know that all babies develop at their own pace, and so I haven't really worried about Jackson not walking yet or anything like that. That is one thing I like about What to Expect the First Year, is that it is very reassuring about developmental milestones, and so far Jackson has hit every one of the "should be able to's" and "probably be able to's," and a few more.
But yesterday we went to the doctor (and you know how I hate doctors) for Jackson's 1 year check up, and she seemed kind of worried about him. She kept asking me questions about what he is doing and when I would answer 'no' she would give me these weird looks and say, "Well, I'm sure he'll catch up by his next appointment. We can wait until then to worry about it."
Let's just say, that isn't very reassuring.
Jackson isn't walking yet. I wasn't really that worried about it before. I mean he's a good crawler so I don't think there's really a problem. I know he'll do it on his own time.
He isn't talking yet either. I mean, he babbles ALL THE TIME. He "sings" to me going through the grocery store. He was saying "Hi" for a while but he has stopped doing that. So the doctor was worried that he hasn't started saying any specific words yet and was especially worried that he hasn't said "mama" or "dada." I am more worried about this one, but I don't know what I could be doing differently. I talk to him all the time, I repeat words to him, I sing to him, we listen to music and we read books several times a day. I know that he knows what some things are even if he can't say them. For instance, if you say "snack" anywhere near him and then don't give him a snack, you will have a tantrum on your hands. If you say "ball" he usually goes and gets the ball. If you say "mine" he will come try to take whatever you have away from you, even if he wasn't interested in it a minute ago. But the doctor says she will be worried if he doesn't know at least 6-10 words when we go back in three months.
She also told me I need to get rid of his pacifier, but I'm not going to. not yet anyway, because he's teething and if he doesn't have it he continually bites me. Plus he will not sleep through the night without it.
The last thing, and another one that I really am worried about, is that he is all of a sudden very afraid of taking a bath. He used to love bath time, he would stay in there splashing around for 20 or 30 minutes every night. He would hear the water running and get excited; he would try to crawl into the bathtub before I could even get his clothes off. But all of a sudden a few days ago, he has started hating bathtime. He screams his head off and tries to crawl out. He acts like he is so scared, but I have no idea why he would be. Nothing has happened that should make him afraid. I thought maybe it was just a stage, but when I asked the doctor she said she had never heard of anything like that.
So please, reassure me if you can. Give me advice if you want. Just please don't comment and tell me you had a baby genius who could read at 12 months or something. Tell me your kid didn't walk until she was 3 and kept her pacifier until she was 7. Just tell me I have nothing to worry about, please??
That's just me :)
- Cassie
- I'm a military wife and former elementary school teacher. My husband Jason is a Navy submariner. We have one son, Jackson, who just turned a year old.
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First, let me just say that being a parent, no, being a mom is really, really hard.
Now, in all honesty, I would not be concerned, right now, about him not walking. I have a niece that didn't walk until she was 14 months old. My oldest 2 didn't even attempt to until they were a year old. Does he pull up and stand?
And the bath thing, look, i have an almost 3 year old that has just started freaking at bath time. Kids are wierd. Period. And if the dr has never heard of that, then I would be looking for another dr. Does he/she even have children?????? Seriously.
As far as the words, you will be amazed how at quickly that will come. I am not trying to belittle your worries, not at all. But he really does sound "normal" or "average".
Drs suck sometimes. They make us anxious when they should reassure us.
Ok, I think your doctor's reaction is weird.
I had early walkers, but it's not uncommon at all for a one year old not walking. I know plenty of little ones who waited until 14 months and a couple even longer. And, to be honest, I don't remember Wog saying any words at 1. He was slow to say any words ever. And Bug's almost 11 months old and she's a chatterbox, but nothing even remotely sounds like it's going to be a real word.
Oh and we took Wog's paci away at 19 months.
Not sure if any of that helps you feel better, but I didn't read anything in your post that alarmed me. And I'm an alarmed kind of girl.
In all honesty, it sounds like your doctor is kind of a bitty.
I take care of a little girl that is 15 months old. She was not walking until right after her first birthday, and even then, she wasn't very good at it. Babies develop at their own pace. If he's being carried around a lot, then maybe he feels like he doesn't need to walk yet. Maybe he just prefers crawling. I wouldn't be that worried about it. Now if he's like 18 months and hasn't walked, then I'd be worried.
As far as the words, I wouldn't get so upset. I live next to two 1 year olds, and they're both the same way. The one is 18 months old, and she's JUST starting to say things. The other is 16 months and he's still not saying but 3 words. If he understands what you're saying to him, I don't see an issue yet. I would just keep working with him, and he'll get it.
As for the bath time, I honestly don't know what to tell you, but it'll get better. They go through weird stages/phases. Soon he'll be back to being a water baby and this whole fear of water will be a distant memory.
You're a great mommy. :)
I couldn't walk until I was about a year and four months because my feet were so tiny that I couldn't hold myself up. I rolled everywhere, I didn't even crawl. I can walk just fine now and had no problems.
A friend of mine has a son who is 21 months and he can't talk yet. He says mama, dada, and boom. That's it. Their doctor isn't alarmed.
As for the pacifier, I know some kids who had it until they were three. They're now wearing braces, but I honestly don't think that still having a pacifier when he's one is a big deal at all. It's when they can walk up to you, take the pacifier out of their mouth, and speak in perfect sentences with no grammar errors that it's probably time to think about taking it away.
Don't worry! I know it's got to be hard, but he's a beautiful boy and from what I've read, you're doing a GREAT JOB!
I wouldn't panic! You said it yourself that no two babies are alike..they all do their own thing in their own time.
Having said that...I know its hard to just sit back and do "nothing" so...here is what I have experienced.....
I have a friend who's daughter is close in age to your Jackson and she was having some of the same issues. Not really saying anything and not walking yet. The doctor suggested that they were giving in to the childs body language to much. i.e. the child points, and you respond. Rather than expecting a vocal request. It's been slow..but things have started to turn around. I am by no means saying that is what is happening with your little one, but its always something to be aware of. As for the walking, they haven't found a solution for that.
Now...for a more personal experience, my youngest would not walk and wasn't talking either. The pediatrician would do the same thing..just look worried but never really had a solution. I finally took him to an ear nose and throat doctor and discovered that he couldn't hear. He needed tubes in his ears and because of that he was hearing less than 50% of what he was supposed to. We put tubes in his ears and within a week he stood up and walked away and he hasn't stopped talking yet. HE TALKS ALL THE TIME! Sometimes to my own dismay!
And last but not least..bath time. BOTH of my boys have gone through phases. From the beginning they loved them. One day...(each at separate times), it was as if a switch was flipped and they would not bath. They would cry and scream and appeared very fearful of the water. I did what I could to be gentle and not force the issue and introduced the concept slowly. They both reverted back and now, I can't keep them out of the water.
Hang in there! This mommy stuff is hard sometimes.....just love them and do what YOU THINK is best!
I'm sure it could be a lot of things. My brother and I are a year and a half apart. When he was a year and a half old, he still wasn't talking. At all. My parents started taking him to specialists because they thought it might be a hearing problem. You know what it ended up being? I was talking for him. Apparently because I was young enough I could still tune into his baby language and would just relay everything to the adults so there was no need for him to talk. My parents started paying me to shut up and pretty soon he started talking.
Hang in there - it's probably nothing to be worried about!
I didn't start walking till 9 and talking until I was 13, so he should be fine.
Ok, maybe I shouldn't joke like that, cuz chances are there is that ONE person out there that is like that. I apologize.
However, Jackson is a stud. If I were you, I would still relish that he is crawling and punch the doctor in the face for giving you weird looks. I say this because when he does start walking and talking, you are probably going to be exhausted.
Oh, and as for bath time, I am sure you have already done this, but when I was little I remember not getting in unless I had toys. My dad was cheap and got me the ones from the happy meals, haha. Just a suggestion.
I think all first time moms panic like this. And pediatricians have us worrying for nothing. My daughter didn't start walking until 17 months! Now she is running and climbing all over the place. I set up an ECI evaluation for her to see if shse qualified for physical therpy and she started 2 weeks before the evaluation but I decided to take her anyway. They told me that she needs speech therapy. She says social words like hi, hello, bye-bye, see you later, all done. But she doesn't say objects like ball or drink. I think they should be saying objects by 15 months. Every therapist (and pediatricians should) says that kids develop at their own pace. My daughter is a smart and aware little girl. She scored well in her social/emmotional. For some reason she develops a little slower some times but she catches up and there is nothing wrong with her.
The speech therapist also explained to me the difference between receptive and expressive communication that is looked at in development. And it is good that you can tell Jackson is understanding. It sounds like you are doing the right things and I'm sure he will be walking and talking before you know it. He just turned one so don't worry!
I don't have a child to ease your concerns with personal experiences but it sounds like from all the mommies above that Jackson is perfectly fine. All children are different and have their own timelines. Hopefully his doctor will stop scaring you!!!
I am in agreement with everyone else who commented...I don't think you have anything to worry about. I am kind of shocked about your dr's reaction.
Frack did not walk until he was 15 months old. He didn't start talking until well after he turned 1. I was freaking out because Frick, the older son, walked at 8 months and talked at 10 months. My dr assured me that all kids do things on their own time frame and not to worry.
The bath thing...I have read of this happening. I am surprised "What to Expect" didn't address it. Look it up in the index if you haven't already. Or Google it. I think I read about that fear in parenting magazines. Kids ARE weird. :)
Frick had his paci until he was 2. His teeth are fine and he actually did not put up the fight I was expecting. Frack never took one.
Hang in there Cassie. You are doing the best you can and Jackson is a doll. :)
My son didn't start walking until the day before his birthday, my daughter walked at 10 months. She was also talking before her brother was born, he will be 17 months in a couple days, and still hasn't said his first word, but he's loud! He makes his noices, babbles, sings whatever.
I know with my son, it's because he and his sister are only 15 months apart, and she tends to "speak" for him...
Doctors have their "guidelines" but that's all they really are.
I wouldn't spend too much time worrying about it. Don't stress yourself out too much. :)
One thing my dr. told me was when he wants something, and reaches and/or whines for it, say a drink that's on a table or counter... Hold it just a little out of reach or kneel down in front of him and repeat "drink" or "cup" to him a few times pointing to it. Just keep doing that with everything. He'll get it eventually.
Good luck. :)
I don't have kids, but I have a niece.
She didn't start talking talking until after one. And even then, it wasn't all the time. It wasn't until she was almost two that she really began talking and now she doesn't stop. She was exactly like Jackson. Understood what her parents were saying, just decided not to talk.
Same thing with walking. She began walking a couple of months after her first birthday.
First off, your doctor sounds like a real ding dong.
Second, my oldest hardly said anything at all until he was closer to two years old. Then all of a sudden we couldn't get him to stop. Now at 6 he has an enormous vocabulary. I really don't think you need to worry about that. Boys usually start talking later. As long as you can see he understands communication, that is the big part.
Third, my friends daughter didn't walk until she was almost 15 months, just cuz she didn't feel like it. She walked when she was good and ready, and now she runs everywhere.
Fourth, the bath thing is completely normal. Kids come up with fears (especially ages 1-3) out of nowhere. One of my boys did the same thing as Jackson and shortly after he was back to loving baths again. I think it was the drain that scared him. Like he was going to be sucked down into it or something. Try and distract him with a new bath tou. ??
I really don't think you have anything to worry about. He sounds completely normal. You might want to get a different doctor though. ;)
My youngest is 19 months old and has only been walking for 3 months. We were to be referred to a physical therapist just to be safe at 16 months, and two days before that, she took off. As long as he can stand while holding onto something or pull up to his feet with help, he's good. I've done tons of research here, and the two things I found that seemed useful were to be sure not to put him in a walker or excersaucer anymore, and to help him walk by holding him under his arms rather than letting him hold your fingers.
Talking- my 9 year old hardly said a word until 18 months. One day she just started talking sentences instead of words.
Finally- I really believe that Mommy's intuition is better than anyone's advice. If you're deep down worried about one of these things, that's one thing, but don't get too freaked if you weren't concerned before the check-up! :-)
Your little guy sounds perfectly normal to me. They all do things in their own time. The ages they tell you are just guidelines. Some kids will do it sooner, some at that time and some after. Nothing personal, but your doctor sounds like an alarmist. I don't think you have anything to worry about. If it would go on for another six or eight months, maybe then I would check things out further. I think he is a perfectly normal little boy!
Your doctor's reaction is very strange. Many kids are not walking at a year, not to mention that really, most kids only know 5 or 6 words at a year, if that. Sure, some kids talk a lot more, but remember that boys are usually behind verbally. At a year, my son said three words. Now at 2 years, he's talking in complete sentences. Don't worry--he's fine!
Every baby is different, and yeah, it is hard NOT to compare progress w/others, but I would just say to follow your gut...
As for my experience...
DS1 has a very large head (off the charts at every well-baby visit), which probably had a lot to do w/him not walking until 15 1/2 months.
He is currently going through speech therapy and is 6-8 months behind toddlers his age when it comes to speech (he has trouble w/consonants).
You should check out Early Intervention Services in your state if you're really concerned. Each state has a program, it's free for kids through 3 years old.
DS1 and many of our friends' children haven been enrolled in Early Intervention for speech, gross motor skills, etc.
Many people tell me boys take longer than girls to accomplish a lot of things (esp. speaking), but again, every baby is different, and just trust your gut.
Most likely there is nothing to worry about and he's developing at his own pace and before you know it he'll be running around and talking non-stop, but you're not alone, and there are many resources out there you can turn to if you need them!
your doctor sucks.
babies are all different. now, I have none, but I am the oldest and I got to see the younger ones grow up. the girls seemed to catch on to stuff WAY faster than the boy. we were told that usually boys are a bit slower to learn stuff. I know its hard not to worry, but I will pray for you. not so much for Jackson, because Im sure he is fine, but I will pray for peace for you. =)
hey cassie! first of all do not worry!!! Ollie cant walk yet either... neither can his cousin who is 2 weeks older than him or his friend who is 16 months!! noone here is worried about any of them? my sis in law was walking when she was 9 months but my brother didnt start walking till he was 1 and a half! all kids are different and take there time. jackson is prob clever enough to realise he can get places faster by crawling rather than walking!
As for the speech thing... again, every kid is different. ollies best friend ruby is 1 and 8 months and talking in 3 word sentences... but his other 1 year and 8 month friend only says 1 word at a time.
ollie says hiya and mama.... but i dont think he says mama because he knows i am his mama... i know he knows what hiya means becauyse he says it bak when i say hello or hand him the phone.... im not worried about him and neither is our health visitor.
jackson looks so handsome and healthy and normal and i think youor nurse was being a little OTT...
you dont need the stress hun.
like the others have said, first of all, don't get too worried. my little guy was 13 months when he walked and i've know perfectly healthy little ones who didn't walk until 14 or 15 months. if he's understanding what you are saying then the cognitive comprehension is there. i have a friend who is a speech therapist and speech development varies greatly from one child to another. if he's not speaking by age 3 then you would need to see a speech therapist but i think you've got a while to go on that. :)
Oh sweetie, of course you're scared. Babies DO develop on their own timetable. Ben walked at 10 months, Alex was...14? 15 months? And when he walked, he RAN. I kid you not, he learned to walk one day and the very next day, he spent the whole day learning to kick a ball.
Jackson is obviously as cool as Alex.
I won't tell you not to worry because it's really not who I am, but I am here if you want to talk.
I'm no mom, but my nephew didn't start walking until he was 12-13 months. He also still doesn't really talk! He babbles, but that's it haha. We're not worried. We know he's smart!
So don't worry so much-- you have a perfect, beautiful boy!
Ok i would probably switch doctors if mine gave me the reactions your did...
Lauren didn't start walking until she was 14 months old...she doesn't say a whole heck of alot of words either.
Don't worry. Believe me it will all come in time and he will be fine. That's just what you go through with the first child! I was worried with Avery too, but in the end worried for nothing.
They have these high expectations for one year olds I think...he will be fine!
Oh and the bath thing...Avery loved them too. And then about a year old he didn't like them anymore. I think that his daddy just got water in his eyes one time and that did it. They do remember alot!!!
I'm so sorry you're worried...it can be so scary being a mom sometimes!
My son didn't walk until 14 months, and he's now in 5th grade reading on an 8th grade level...not walking by 1 is nothing to be concerned about.
I'm not sure about the talking thing, except just to echo what others have said about each child being different.
My youngest also had the reverse bath thing. Loved it, then suddenly was terrified of it...I don't think that's something that should cause panic.
I hope your fears are eased quickly and know you have a great support group here!
Okay I'm going to be honest with you. If there is something wrong with Jackson then Allie has the same thing.
She doesn't talk at all and doesn't walk either! She won't take a paci but two of my others have and I have never gotten rid of them by 1 yr...as a matter of fact it was more like 3 yrs. Also as far as the bath goes....Jacob loved baths as a baby and then all of the sudden one day he hated them..screamed and cried like I was hurting him or something....did it for a while and then got over it. It'll be okay...they go through stages...love something one day then hate it the next!
He's perfectly normal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Breathe...relax.....deep breath! :)
I have a good friend who has a 13 month old that is just now starting to walk and he doesn't really talk yet either. And he's cute as a button and obviously very smart.
Don't worry. Your doctor is just being a big d-bag. Next time tell him "Your mom doesn't walk yet either" and see how he likes it.
Hmmmmm, thought about a new pediatrician yet???
Seriously, I have 4 kids. They all walked and talked at different times. My last one walked at 18 months, the one before her 16 months, I can't tell ya when any of them first started talking, but it was between 1-2. The biggest growth in speech is between 20-24 months!! Pacifier...uh when they give it up...2 of mine 6 months..the other 2 between 2-3yrs!! Don't stress it, I have the best doc cause she truly understands differences!! Bath time, oh girl get used to it, that one comes and goes...they love it then hate it then love it then hate it..NORMAL!!
Over from SITS! Happy weekend!
I had concerns like that when my youngest was that age and she is perfectly fine right now. I would stay on top of it but I wouldn't worry too much to lose sleep over it. I mean, we lose enough sleep over our kids, right?
I know everyone will say it but he WILL do those things. kids will do things in their won time - no use getting grey hairs worrying. there's time for that later :)
Ok, here goes:
A) Neither Rose or Lily were walking until they were at least 14 months. It took Rose FOREVER to get moving in the first place, and now both girls are running around like crazy!
B) My kids were using words by a year, but communicated largely with baby signs...but I've heard that boys tend to talk later than girls.
I'm sure he really is ok. My kids have developed on completely different time lines, and I'm sure Jackson is proceeding according to his own little schedule!
Im so glad I read this post!! DO NOT WORRY!! My oldest daughter didn't walk until she was 19 mo old!!!
Every child is special and will develop when he or she is ready not by some Kooky "Drs" manual!! Im not a fan of Drs. and quite honestly they have done little but instill, worry, fear, guilt for me I don't need to go somewhere and pay $$ for that and all of the above...go with your gut!! You know when something isn't right!!
Feel free to e-mail me: I have plenty more to add and would love to help in anyway possible (kids is my passion)and helping calm a worried mommy comes with the package :)!!
Ps. Keep the paci...my daughter had hers until she was 3 and 2 mo...and is doing GREAT (teeth and all!) weeexplorers at yahoo dot com
Don't worry!! My sister didn't walk until she was 14 months old and my husbands co-worker said his son is 18 months and still not really talking.
My husband and I were talking about this the other day and we both agreed that boys are just slower. Noah isn't saying any words yet either and he's almost 11 months old now. You're lucky though that Jackson still takes the paci - Noah gave it up (by himself) when he started cutting his upper teeth. I wish everyday he would still use it, but he just spits it out!!
Are his ears clear? If his ears are plugged up, that could be why he can't hear. I had one son who couldn't hear anything out of one ear. I kept telling the dr he couldn't hear (think 1 year). THey kept blowing me off, so I took him to an ear dr. They tested him. He was stone-cold deaf in one ear. We did 2 things: 1)) put him on benadryl 24/7 for a month 2)a woman in my church prayed overhim. About 2 weeks later, his ears opened up. One son had wax build up so badly. The dr. kept blowing him off. He could only hear consonants--no vowels. We went to the ear dr. He took out chunks and chunks of black wax. These 2 boys were thumb suckers. They also had more speech difficulties, but not enough to get help. I'd check on the hearing.
When I'm unsure about my boys, I always pray. God always moves, eith showing me what I need to do, or solving the problem in His time.
Keep in mind that all children have their own bloom time, but it's up to us moms to help sometimes:)
Your doctor sucks for doing that to you. Your kid is fine. Seriously. I've heard of kids having the fear of bathtime suddenly and it went away as quickly as it came. I'd make sure to have lots of fun toys in there, and maybe get in the tub with him? Or let him play in there while it's empty and then fill it with him in there.
None of my kids (3) walked until they were 14 months old.
My middle one wasn't saying more than 5 words by the time she was two. Turns out the chronic ear infections were impeding her hearing. Tubes did wonders for her. I know a very intelligent woman that didn't speak until she was 3 1/2! When she started to speak, she began in complete sentences.
Don't worry...Jackson is just fine!!
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